A Cautionary Tale of How Not to Anger Reyna on Halloween
by BluePhoenixFeathers
Summary: Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, child of Rome, consul to demigods, slayer of the Trojan sea monster, destroyer of the Titan Krios, and praetor of the First Legion was mortally terrified of Halloween and everything to do with it. Someone get Reyna some aspirin. Oneshot. OOC! Jason and OOC! Reyna. Jason x Reyna. Belated giftfic for whycamillewhy.


Disclaimer: The PJO series and the Heroes of Olympus series do not belong to me. None of the characters do either. Rights go to Mr. Riordan.

Caution: OOC!Jason, probably OOC!Reyna, fluff, badly done romance, Jason x Reyna/Jeyna (this part is for all you Jason x Piper shippers), unbeta'd, and probably lots of cliches. This is also my second fic, and my first romance one too, so if I butcher Jason and Reyna's romantic *cough* interactions, feel free to tell me. (It is, actually, intentionally butchered to be funnier.)

**_Also, spoilers for anyone that has not finished The Lost Hero._ **

This fic is a really, really, belated giftfic for my good friend whycamillewhy, previously Foreverintheshade. Please go read her stories! She's also a big fan of the Jeyna pairing. (I personally also prefer it over Jason x Piper).

This fic's timeline is during the PJO series and before the Heroes of Olympus series starts.

* * *

If Reyna, at the tender age of ten, was informed that she'd have to deal with Jason Grace, and all the stupidity that came with him…

She'd have stayed on the pirate ship. Or possibly joined the Amazons. She would have had more minions, excuse me, _subordinates_, to command.

No question about that.

But, due to being the naïve little girl she once was, she joined Camp Jupiter.

That had been, Reyna mused, the most appalling tactical error she had ever made in her entire life. It was that bad.

It trumped the time a Trivia child in the Fifth Cohort decided to animate one of the dilapidated prophecy teddy bears. He embellished it: red, bloodthirsty eyes, sharp fangs, and the same dagger used to maim it, then commanded it to give Octavian and the First Cohort a little nighttime visit.

Needless to say, the damage repairs lasted three months.

But this...

"Reyna, I'm begging you. Please, please, just let me stay in my house for the day. Just one day out of three hundred sixty five, right?"

Reyna felt a headache coming on. The enemy could exploit Jason's stupid fear of Halloween and everything to do with it. She had only learned about it _this year_. Apparently, he had been hiding it ever since he came to camp.

(Oh, they were in big trouble if Saturn decided to launch an assault today. Her spies had said nothing, though, so they were safe. Maybe. The last spy had returned as ashes in a very nicely wrapped vase.)

"There are three hundred sixty six days in a leap year, Grace," Reyna snapped, not glancing up from the centurion reports.

"This year's not a leap year," Jason insisted. "I get that my stupid fear of Halloween is just hurting our morale and shames my role as co-leader of Camp Jupiter and all that military stuff you spout just to seem praetor-ish, but it hurts me as much as it does you and everyone else in camp. It's not _fun _to be scared of Halloween. It's not great for my manly image anyways."

Jason was trying to do a puppy-dog face.

Reyna resisted the urge to tell him that it seemed more as if he was constipated. She also resisted the urge to set Aurum and Argentum on him to see if _they_ would appreciate that face.

Jason relaxed his facial muscles, much to Reyna's relief, and said, "C'mon, Reyna. Everyone has irrational fears. Fears of airplanes, of heights, of being chased by Krios in spandex."

Reyna opened her mouth, and then closed it. That _was _a rather horrifying image.

"All right," she said finally, "and I'm supposed to…"

Jason's face proceeded to light up, as if he suddenly had a marvelous, brilliant idea.

Reyna shuddered.

"Just…keep me company throughout the day, all right? I just need the emotional support. Not that you're a cuddly teddy bear or anything. In fact, you're a complete statue. Less expressive though."

Reyna ignored the illogical sting she felt at the statue part, but continued, "Not an option, Grace. I still have all these reports to go through, and then I have to meet-

"Please." Jason seemed nervous, and _oh gods_, was he blushing? "I'll do the rest of the year's denarii accounting. I'll even go see Octavian in your place for this month's centurion report."

Jupiter Almighty, Reyna thought, darn you for cursing us with a praetor that actually _blushed_. Though, it was sort of cute-

_Oh, Mars_!_ The infection is spreading._

"Fine," said Reyna grudgingly. "One day, Grace, you hear me? _One day_."

"Sure," said Jason brightly. He pulled her out by the hand, and Reyna ignored the tingle that spread through her body. Stupid son of Jupiter. Always giving out static. Even though static didn't feel so…good.

* * *

The second they set foot out of the principia, Jason hid behind Reyna.

"Reyna, stab the thing. Stab it! It's going to eat you! I'm not going to lose you!"

Reyna lost her patience. "Jason, that's the guard! He's dressed as a _mummy_. It's not a real mummy. People dress up in costumes. Costumes are not real. Get the drift?"

Jason nodded his head, still pale, and said, "Sorry, Reyna. But I'm on my guard, just as you always say to be."

The guard seemed as if he was going to laugh, but Reyna's patented Death Glare Variation #1031: Oh-Gods-She's-Going-To-Strangle-Me-In-My-Sleep-Usi ng-Only-Toilet-Paper-And-Floss immediately silenced him.

They shuffled along after that, the silence usually punctuated by cheerful tidbits from Jason and rather sharp retorts from Reyna.

Until Bobby came onto the scene.

* * *

Reyna regretted letting the demigods dress in costumes for the day. Not only did it let them be susceptible to injuries due to their conspicuous absence of any form of armor or protection, they seemed to give the demigods the illusion of being safe from her authority *cough*tyranny*cough*.

"OhmyholyMars it's after me! Reyna, get it off!"

Reyna glared at the chortling Bobby, then practically ripped the paper bat taped to Jason's head off, along with most of his scalp. As Jason moaned in pain on the ground, Reyna turned and pulled her dagger on the other boy.

"You have five seconds, Bobby. I'm starting from four."

"Reyna, it was just a-

"GO!"

Bobby proceeded to scramble away in his vampire costume. Or strategically retreat, as he shouted to her.

"Get up, Grace," said Reyna, prodding him in the side using her pointy, steel-tipped shoe.

Jason groaned again. "I can practically feel the love."

Why did she turn red, _again_? She vented her confusion by prodding him some more.

"All right, all right, I'm up, I'm up," said Jason, massaging his side.

"Good," said Reyna. "Because if you continue acting so idiotic, you're going down. All the way into the Underworld. Got it?"

They continued on without any interruptions, after that.

* * *

Reyna regretted many things. She regretted letting the demigods dress in costumes. She regretted ever recommending Moron Extraordinaire Jason Grace for the position of Fifth Cohort centurion, then praetor.

_But you didn't do it because he was smart, correct?_ the nasty voice in her head said.

_Shut up, _she told it. _All commanders are prone to miscalculations._

_He wasn't a miscalculation, _the voice retorted.

If she died of humiliation, she was going to drag Grace along too. The camp wouldn't survive a month with him in charge.

_Actually_, Reyna thought. _My expectations are rather unfair. The camp wouldn't survive a day_.

And the sad part was, she wasn't exaggerating.

* * *

They also came across Gwendolyn, dressed as a creepy girl from one of those generic horror movies. Actually, it might have been the other way around. She crept up behind Jason, then said in a hoarse voice in his ear, "You're my next vict-

She never really got to finish that sentence, because Jason promptly turned and jolted her with five hundred volts of electricity.

After apologizing to a rather dazed Gwen, and cheerfully commenting that at least her costume was successful in scaring him, Jason begin to babble something about horses and bubblegum. (Reyna really didn't want to know what went on in his head).

Inside her own head, Reyna counted to three, trying to calm down before she channeled Brutus' spirit and reenacted the famous death of Julius Caesar on Gwen. Or forced her to clean up Hannibal the elephant's messes for a month.

Jason honestly needed someone to babysit him.

* * *

Reyna really had no idea as to where they were going, but Jason seemed to be leading her to a hill commanding a view of the Field of Mars. The sun seemed to be setting, and far in the distance, in the city, she could see children dressed up in costumes. They banged on doors, requesting candy.

The thought occurred to her that she had never actually gone trick-or-treating before on October 31. There had always been papers to file, meetings to attend, and incompetent demigods to yell at. Besides. It wasn't as if she was really missing anything. She forced her gaze from the smiling children and turned to Jason, who had a goofy, idiotic grin on his face. Reyna resisted the urge to

He sat down on the grass, patting the spot next to him. Reyna grudgingly sat down too, noting quietly how much more comfortable it was compared to her high-backed chair. She then berated herself for such un-praetorly thoughts. A breeze started up, rustling through her long braid, and it felt cool and pleasant. Her shoulders had relaxed from their ever-present, perfect form and the light warmed her face.

Jason turned to her. His face seemed luminescent in the dim glow of the sun and he had dropped the moronic smile. He almost looked…handsome.

_Oh gods, no._

"So," he said softly. _Why was he speaking that low_. "Are you going to go trick-or-treating this year?"

Reyna stared at him. "I've _never_ gone trick-or-treating before, Grace. And it doesn't seem as if there's much purpose to it. All the demigods do is get fat off of candy, or whine to me about how all the veteran demigods only give out raisins and dentist mints."

Jason slapped his face. "No, I mean…Arrghhh…it's so hard to talk with you!"

Reyna stood up. Strangely enough, she didn't really have any desire to leave. "Well, if it's so hard to talk with me, I guess I'll just go."

"No, wait!" said Jason, panicked, pulling her back down again. "Sorry. It's just…you really don't seem to like me. I know I kind of act stupid sometimes, but…did I do something wrong?"

Reyna felt something soften inside her. "Not really, Jason. Sorry. I guess I come off as a bit harsh sometimes."

"A bit? Ow! You didn't have to punch me that hard!"

Reyna laughed softly. Jason looked at her, and there was something in his gaze that made her feel...good.

"You know…you really should laugh more. You have a nice laugh."

"And your laugh sounds lie a dying donkey being repeatedly kicked in the stomach."

Jason laughed. Then said, "oh, shoot, I just proved you right."

"I'm always right, Grace."

Then they both started laughing, and somehow, Reyna felt as if a great burden had been taken off her. There wasn't any more reports to read or paperwork to sign, no having to deal with conniving, manipulative centurions. No more funerals, no more faces of her dying and dead friends. The war against Saturn seemed to have disappeared, if only for the time being.

"Hey, Reyna," Jason said, shyly. "Trick or treat?"

Reyna was tempted to tell him that any candy she gave him would probably have laxatives put in it beforehand. "Trick. I don't have any cand-

Then, there was something warm touching her mouth, and it took her a few seconds to realize that it was Jason's lips, and he was kissing her. Sparks weren't flying, and doves weren't chirping, and there were no fireworks. But her head felt light, and his lips were soft, and she let it happen.

It lasted for a couple more seconds, and then he pulled back. He had a brilliant blush, and he was smiling, but it wasn't mushy or lovey-dovey. Just a nervous smile that made Reyna's lips tug up into a small smile too.

"So…" Jason asked, "want to go trick-or-treating with me today?"

"I'd like that," Reyna said softly. Then her face changed. "Wait. Was that whole "keeping you company thing" just a contrived plan to kiss me?"

Jason scratched the back of his head. "Uh, hehe. Yeah?"

"So," Reyna said calmly, rising, and drawing her dagger again. Her face could have made Jupiter pee his godly pants. "Because of your plan, I still have plenty of centurion reports to read, more denarii to count, and more paperwork to sign."

Jason whimpered, but swore up and down later it was a "manly sound of anxiety".

"Are you even scared of Halloween?!"

"No!" Jason squealed. Loudly. "I mean, yes…I still am, but I did plan to lead you up here…" At the murderous expression on Reyna's face, he quickly amended. "I'm still going to do the denarii accounting! And go to Octavian for his centurion report! I'll even clean the toilets!"

"I'm going to strangle you with your own bloody entrails."

Jason jumped up and ran.

* * *

This fic is probably better as a Percabeth fic. The personalities fit much better. Though I believe Jason in the actual series isn't really that developed or interesting as a character. Not his fault though. He just doesn't have as fleshed-out a personality, as, say, Percy or Leo. Constructive criticism is much appreciated.

*Also, in no form or fashion do I believe abuse is all right if it's female on male. It shouldn't suddenly become bad/evil if Reyna and Jason's genders are reversed. Double standards are bad. This is a sadistic OOC! parody of Reyna that delights in spreading her tyranny, seeding misery, and inflicting cartoony injuries on her minions, be they girl or boy.

**People do have real life phobias that may seem irrational, stupid, or silly but please understand that even if it might be annoying having to deal, it is about ten times as unpleasant for them.


End file.
